The ‘normal’ Kid Raising Siblings Of Children With Autism Spectrum Disorder

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As a mother of two sons, one with moderate-to-severe autism and one without, I know firsthand how challenging it can be to juggle the needs of all the members of a family when one of the members has special needs. Raising a child with autism is not an easy endeavor- getting the right services for your child, working to improve developmental skills, and dealing with the daily challenges unique to autism can be as much work (if not more!) than a full-time job. This article addresses the challenges unique to raising siblings of children with autism: children whose needs can sometimes be overshadowed by the more obvious ones of their special sibling. I am not a psychologist or a doctor- just a mom who has made a fair share of mistakes, and picked up some pointers along the way. I hope these suggestions are helpful to you and your family.

Spend one-on-one time. Spending time alone with your child is a great way to make sure he or she doesnt get lost in the shuffle of the daily grind, or ground down by all-autism, all the time. My son and I started a vegetable garden together, which provides peaceful quality time outdoors for both of us. The tasty tomatoes, peppers, and carrots are a nice bonus too! We also bake together, once in a while, just the two of us, and he is my official grocery shopping helper. Little activities like that can add up to quite a bit of time during the week, and a stronger relationship.

Teach your child about autism. Depending on the age of the child, there are a variety of media resources to help children understand autism, including books and movies. Teach your child the word, and what it means for his or her sibling. For example, I began very simply with my youngest son when he was 3 years old, and told him that his brother had autism, and had a hard time using his words. As hes grown older, Ive explained more, about impulse control, meltdowns, and food aversions – in kid-speak, of course! This way, these are just simply facts that he has in his mental file about his brother, alongside such useful information as has brown hair and loves trucks.

Acknowledge his/her feelings. Some days you probably hate autism too, and get really frustrated by your childs behavior. Maybe you were embarrassed by the meltdown in the grocery store too. You grieve for the child you might have had. Your child may grieve for the brother or sister he/she might have had too. Acknowledge these feelings, without dwelling on them. Make it safe for your child to express his/her feelings without repercussions. Burying feelings isnt healthy for anyone, including children, and in this case, it may lead towards resentment and guilt towards his or her sibling.

Make sure your rules are fair. In my house, the rule is that everyone does what he or she can do. Autism is not allowed to be an excuse. Even though my eight year old son has moderate-to-severe autism, there are still several chores he can do, with supervision and assistance. It is good for your child with autism to learn responsibility and self-help skills. It is also good for demonstrating inclusion principles right in your own home. If your child without autism has chores, and the child with autism has no chores, resentment may also build, and that is something that should be avoided wherever possible.

Dont forget the positive praise. Praise your children. Frequently. If it doesnt come easily, try using statements like I like how you, or It makes me so happy when you. Children need to hear more praise than criticism in order to develop a positive self-image. Cultivate the habit.

Have reasonable expectations. No child is going to behave perfectly. Just because your child doesnt have autism, doesnt mean he or she is going to be an angel. My husband and I have made that mistake, and were grateful when another mom pointed it out (discreetly) to us. Kids are going to be kids. Making mistakes, misbehaving, and testing boundaries are all part of the learning process. Are you perfect? I know Im not, and I dont expect either one of my kids to be either.

Dont let autism rule your familys life. A diagnosis of autism can often mean lots of therapies and treatments and appointments with specialists. My son receives speech therapy and occupational therapy twice a week after school (on alternating days), for an hour each session. Parents who are following ABA protocols can spend even more time! Its time consuming but necessary. However, I refuse to schedule any therapies on Friday or over the weekend. Thats our family time. I also arrange to have my younger son participate in an after school program he really enjoys, so that he doesnt have to sit in a clinic for an hour waiting for his brother. That way, therapy is accomplished, and no one (with the possible exception of me) is bored in a waiting room.

Keep your marriage strong. One of the first things I read about when I was researching my newly-diagnosed little boys disorder was the shockingly high divorce rates among parents of special needs children. My husband and I agreed that we liked being married to each other, and wanted to keep it that way. Some of the strategies weve pursued in keeping our marriage strong is keeping a date night, at least twice a month. If you dont have reliable respite care (parents or friends, for example), contact your local social services agency. Many social services agencies maintain resource lists for consumers, including lists of agencies which provide respite care. Your marriage is worth the effort and the expense! Other valuable insights I have gained through this journey is the importance of being patient and gentle with one another, and taking care of one another. You are partners on this parenting journey together, and the easiest, most loving way to complete the journey is by staying happily married. Both kids need that from you.

Keep your stress level as low as you can. Its not as impossible as it sounds! I understand exactly how difficult that can be. Raising children is a juggling act; raising a family with autistic and non-autistic children is a juggling act on a unicycle. That is why it is so crucial to find personal time to take care of yourself. I take care of my garden, meditate daily, take bubble baths with a good mystery or romance novel once or twice a week, and get on the elliptical to exercise two to three times a week (whether I want to or not). These are things which keep me sane, and refresh my spirit. My husband plays video games and has poker night with the guys. Its finding what works for you. Its not selfish to find time for yourself. Nourishing your mind, body and spirit helps you to be strong for your family.

I hope that following these suggestions will help as you raise your mixed family.

Online Feng Shui Tips for health and Wealth

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Everyone has its own way of thinking but when it comes to topics like health and wealth everybody think of it as the most important thing to be considered with top priority. Feng shui provides financial boost up and health benefits. This art is usually practiced by people who are suffering from financial and health related problems. When things become unmanageable and hard to bear and as a result people tend to become depressed and easily get angry or even pick up fights for unnecessary reasons. In such hard situation Feng Shui can assist you a lot with the help of its yin yang properties. It lessens the effect of negative vibes present near to you and helps in the proper flow of positive vibes in a beneficial way. If you cannot find an expert near to your place then you can take online Feng shui tips for health and wealth from internet medium. Tips on health and wealth with the help of Feng shui have nowadays become a great topic, so when you search for the keyword you will easily find numerous url listings under this topic.

At times with an increase in positive energy the negative energies also increase as a result of yin yang thing. Thus when you wish to increase positive energy of something you must first make sure that some protective items are included to abolish the negative effects that come along with the positive effects. Health and wealth are two important things that a person demands from their own life. There are many items crafted to bring prosperity and health benefits to human life in combinations. Combination of items that are usually required for health are twin Wu Lou filled with coins, white jade spheres, sage and amber chips or a Wu Lou wind chime with medicine Buddha or Wu Lou wind chime with chi line status placed near to it or white jade lotus vase with quan yin statue. The next important part is the proper directional placement of their Feng shui items for e.g. the health items must be placed on the northeast corner and their protect items must be placed towards the southwest corner in the year 2010. Wealth items from Feng shui must be placed in the center of the house in this year 2010. Every year the placing location may change

For the continuous flow and increase in wealth Feng shui offers several items that bring prosperity in the life of people. Items such as money toads, imperial coins, gold ingots, money trees, money luck key chains, jewelry, carp and so on are available for the inflow of prosperity and wealth. Moving mantra with 5 element pagoda and wealth ships sailing on the mirror that is illuminated but the light of the sun is considered as the great combinations for money flow. Some online Feng shui tips for health and wealth that you can find while searching for it are as follows: 1. Assess things that you use frequently. You must keep things separately that are used most often from those that are used infrequently. Items used infrequent must be placed on higher shelf area. 2. Rarely used things must not be placed on the work area because they take space. Keep the work surface clean and tidy. 3. Inflow of good chi energy ensures that everything works in a proper manner. Never keep broken things in your living room or work area. The doors must swing freely. 4. Mirrors can help in the inflow of money or increase in wealth. In the kitchen the stove burner is a symbol of wealth in Feng shui. By keeping mirror behind the stove so that it reflects the burner can help in increasing the flow of wealth. 5. Things should be placed in a balanced proportion. To get to know more about the tips on health and wealth you can search online websites that are completely based on the Chinese astrological readings and Feng shui practices.

http://www.backonyourfeet.com.au/feng_shui_chinese_astrology.htm

Feng Shui House-Hunting Tips

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Using feng shui principles in the house-hunting phase is one of the most useful times to do so. There are many levels to understanding a home, including unseen influences based on when the house was built and combined with its precise compass orientation.

As an example, a house built in 1950 that faces south could present potential health problems for the occupants in the areas of the eyes or heart. Whereas a house built in 1970 that faces east could trigger bone or muscle problems for the occupants. These are UNSEEEN, but powerful influences.

There are many “seen” influences as well, which can affect our five basic senses: things we see, hear, smell, tase or touch. Following is a quick list of things to avoid if it all possible. But keep in mind that no house is deemed “bad feng shui” by just one flaw. It is always an accumulation of flaws which will yield a negative result on the occupants.

Avoid: 1. A house or apartment on a busy street. (Noise you cannot control.)

2. A first floor apartment over a large parking structure (noise, exhaust fumes.)

3. Within a block of a cemetary (sad, draining, “yin” type energy.)

4. Within a couple blocks of a hospital or fire station (sirens heard on a regular basis).

5. Close to a freeway or airport (noise, pollution).

6. Major, buckling cracks in pavement, foundation, driveway (can cause a variety of health problems unless you intend to fix the cracks immediately.)

7. Proximity to stagnant water (aside from now being a breeding ground for West Nile Virus, the stagnant water can contribute to crime or poor health).

8.Dead or dying landscape (drags energy down in the whole area).

9.A house built right into a mountain side (prone to water damage, mold, and ghosts).

10. A house built below street level or at the bottom of a hill (this house will be the recipient of downward, negative energy and literally prone to flooding.)

Stay tuned for more House Hunting Tips in the Part TWO article next month.

Feng Shui Master Kartar Diamond is author of the book, “Feng Shui For Skeptics: Real Solutions Without Superstition” which can be purchased directly at www.FengShuiForSkeptics.com If you order the book from this website, mention that you subscribe to Amazine and you will receive a 10% rebate on the price of the book!

Political Scandals Becoming Increasingly More Prevalent

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Political scandals seem to be popping up in the news constantly lately, with no sign of slowing down anytime soon. The public’s trustworthiness and patience towards their elected officials has been decreasing significantly, and many have lost hope of any change of an honest politician that puts the people first. It’s not just scandals that are the issue, often times there are backdoor deals and many things that do not end up becoming scandals, because they never end up being found out. Gridlock in Washington and in Politics can be frustrating, especially since voting in new representatives seem to offer little use.

Political scandals are hard to define with an exact definition. Although there is no set criteria for what qualifies something as a poltiical scandal, there is some broad criteria. As you can imagine anything that is released that involves the breaking of any laws will immediately become a large political scandal. Additionally sexual scandals are also quite common, particularly those of former President Bill Clinton and Rep Anthony Weiner. Both of their sexual scandals blew up into national headlines, becoming huge political scandals. The political scandal definition can be broad however, and can include many other potential acts, whether illegal or not. For something to become a scandal it does not necessarily have to had been an illegal act, although many times it is. Political scandals can broadly be defined as anything a politician would not want the public to know about their tenture in office, that is eventually leaked to the public in some way. Leaks of information that was not supposed to become public has been a more common political scandal in recent years. .

There have been countless scandals, in fact a search online for political scandals will bring up huge lists of both Federal as well state State and local political scandals throughout the year. In 2014 there has already been some discussion of various scandals of Governors, and of course Obama. The Affordable Care Act better known as Obamacare has led to so much debate its tough to argue against it being called a scandal. Obama is believed to have known the website would end up not working, and to have known that people would lose their coverage, but went ahead with his own political agenda anyway. It is unfair to just pick out Obama however, as politicians from both parties are guilty or malpractice.

John Stone recommends this site for the latest news and political updates: Checkout the Most Recent Political Scandal in 2014 involving NJ Governor Chris Christie here

Feng Shui’s Cosmic Blueprint for Health, Wealth, and Happiness

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We all know that our environment can affect us positively or negatively. We recognize it on the most mundane and obvious levels, such as feeling bad-even frightened-if we’re subjected to a dark, damp, dilapidated building. We also know how exhilarating it can feel to be in a sunny, sweet smelling room with breathtaking views. But this could be seen as just a temporary, emotional reaction. Does our environment influence our lives and well-being, even our financial potential or chance for marriage, in a long term and predictable way? The answer is yes, according to the ancient Chinese natural earth science, popularly referred to as -feng shui.- Feng Shui literally means -wind-water,- and these words are a catch phrase or consolidation of a whole concept: energy which dissipates in the wind, gathers at the location of water.

The basic principles of feng shui maintain that: We are affected by our immediate interior and exterior surroundings in predictable ways Unseen forces (called ch’i) or air currents can be manipulated by our choice of furnishings, the color scheme of a room, its architecture, as well as landscaping Those forces can alter events and circumstances in our lives We can even have a unique relationship with a home or office, distinct from someone else sharing that same space, based on our birth date.

THE BEDROOM

This is the most important room in any home because we spend a majority of our lives in this one spot. The only other room that can compete with the bedroom is an office that someone might literally sit in for eight hours per day. Here are some basic feng shui guidelines for the bedroom:

1.The shape of the room should be a stable square or rectangular shape. If the room has an odd shape, then try to position furnishings in a way to help square-out the shape.

2.The room should not be overly large because that can undermine feelings of coziness and protection that are desirable for sleeping.

3.The ceilings should be flat for the smoothest flow of energy in the room.

4.If the ceilings are sloped, then there is a greater chance for sleep disturbances.

5.False ceilings and canopy beds are one way to resolve the sloped ceiling dilemma.

6.Sleeping under exposed beams should be avoided at all cost because the beams create a chaotic boomerang effect that can undermine health. The exact health problem can even be predicted based on where the beam hovers over your body. For example, if you sleep with a large exposed beam hovering over your abdominal region, this could affect your digestion and even your fertility.

7.Avoid sleeping with your head too close to a low, drafty window. This will consistently drain you.

8.Arrange the bed to be out of direct alignment with the room’s door. Sleeping directly aligned with the door can cause health problems eventually.

9.Cover up or remove large mirrors in the bedroom. This is a challenging recommendation for many people because mirrored closet doors are so very common. The only way to test out if your mirrors are causing sleeping problems for you is to cover them up for a week or two and see if you feel more rested and calm. Most people do report feeling better.

10.By referring to traditional feng shui books, you can even find out what your best personal sleeping directions are, based on your birth year.

11.Advanced, traditional feng shui can also determine the best colors for a room. It’s unique to your specific home and floor plan arrangement.

THE OFFICE

Whether this is a home office or an office within a commercial space, you can also micro-manage this environment to suit your needs and enhance your productivity. Some people use their office to concentrate, while others use their office to hold meetings with business partners, employees, patients or clients. In a commercial work space, you should:

1.Avoid sitting at your desk with your back to the entrance door of the room. Psychologically you will feel very vulnerable and on edge, knowing that people could come into your office from behind you.

2.Avoid sitting with your back to any protruding interior columns or file cabinets that would be pointing towards your back as this can cause back pain.

3.If you have any disturbing views out of your window, mask the bad view with window treatments, partition screens or tall plants.

4.For a windowless office, get yourself some full-spectrum lighting because it will be less tiring than working all day under fluorescent lighting.

5.Put up pictures of landscapes or large mirrors to give the room a feeling of depth or the illusion of more space.

6.Don’t go for extreme colors in your carpet, such as hunter green or maroon, unless you have had a traditional feng shui consultation to find out if your individual office needs that much of a certain color (which vibrates a certain element.)

THE ENTRANCE

The main door to your home is referred to as the -mouth- or -ch’i-gate- in feng shui terminology. You pass through this area potentially many times per day and this is one of the main ways that the energies of the outside world enter into your private space. The main door that you use the most should be:

1.Free of clutter or congestion. It should not be hard to get through this area.

2.There should be plenty of light because dark entry ways can trigger depression and contribute to lethargy. Use artificial light if you cannot bring in enough natural light through a window or skylight.

3.Air currents will move in a straight line unless diverted. If you have a back door or window aligned directly with your entrance door, the house will leak its vital ch’i. The end result is that it is hard for occupants to save their hard earned money. Corrections for this floor plan flaw can vary depending on how much area there is to work with between the entrance and exit points. Pieces of furniture, live plants, water fountains, and partition screens can sometimes be used to help slow down this direct path of ch’i.

4.Likewise, if a main door is aligned directly with a set of stairs, occupants may also have a hard time saving money or their health will be drained.

5.The most challenging entrances are the ones which are congestive because there is a wall too close to the entrance. People who have this kind of entrance will feel halted and stifled in their lives. Covering this wall with a floor to ceiling mirror will help give the illusion that you have more space. This is also a design trick that is used all the time in narrow retail spaces, where one whole wall is mirrored. Health clubs mirror walls, not just so you can see what you look like, but also so they can get away with putting exercise equipment very close to walls without their gym members feeling cramped up in corners.

Although we have outlined some very important basics regarding your bedroom, office, and entrance, the vast body of knowledge which comes from this ancient predictive art can be personalized to your own specific home and work environment. What may be appropriate for one person or business, will not be for another. You can find out more advanced feng shui secrets and solutions when an experienced consultant factors in the age of your home and what compass direction the structure faces. In a way, it is like -astrology for architecture.-

Kartar Diamond is a leading Feng Shui expert with clients world-wide and many learning tools available on her website. She is the author of Feng Shui for Skeptics, The Feng Shui Matrix, and The Feng Shui Continuum. Visit her site at http://www.FengShuiSolutions.net